Whitney Cummings let loose on CNN’s New Year’s Eve Live special on Tuesday night (December 31) as she poked fun at hosts Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper, roasted 2024, and mocked the network’s ratings.
The comedian wasted no time with the jibes as she joined Cohen and Cooper to ring in the new year. She started by referencing Cooper’s former New Year’s Eve Live co-host, Kathy Griffin, who was dropped by the network in 2017 after she posed for a publicity photo of her holding up an effigy of Donald Trump‘s severed head.
“Was that thunder?” Cummings asked as she joined the co-hosts in New York City’s Times Square. “Are you sure? I thought it was Kathy Griffin screaming at you from the street. Are you sure? I think she’s cursing.”
Cummings went on to promote her 2025 tour, where she said she is “playing bigger and bigger venues.” She then made a dig at CNN’s ratings, saying, “I thought being a mom would mean that less people want to come see me. I’m now playing, like, 3000-seat theaters, which is about the viewership of CNN these days.”
The Undateable alum then roasted 2024, saying the year “needs to be held accountable for its behavior. That’s what white women do now. We point out other things that are toxic because we don’t get irony.”
She added that people acted “so poorly” in 2024 that “we started being wistful about murderers,” pointing to people’s fascination with the Menendez brothers, suspected CEO killer Luigi Mangione, and Gypsy-Rose Blanchard (“because murdering your mom is so brat”).
“This was the year nothing made sense,” Cummings continued. “Fertility was down, sales of baby oil was up, white supremacy groups reached record highs… it got so bad Ariana Grande became white again.”
Whitney Cummings just ROASTED CNN on national television“I’m now playing 3000 person shows, which is about the viewership of CNN these days” pic.twitter.com/VcOfte6iqC— James Jinnette (@james_jinnette1) January 1, 2025
“Things got so bleak we started watching the WNBA,” she added. “And we also started watching older women in movies. Demi Moore was in a movie called The Substance, which shows that Hollywood’s ready for a woman in her 50s to star in a movie as long as a hot 28-year-old wears a leotard for most of it.”
She went on to say this was the year “everyone hated watching the Joker,” adding, “But if you do enjoy watching men descend into insanity, in a couple of hours, you get to watch Andy Cohen do the countdown.”
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Cummings then turned her attention to the 2024 presidential election, saying, “The Democrats couldn’t hold a primary because they were too busy holding a body upright.”
“Am I still rolling, or are we off?” she asked, surprised that CNN was allowing her to keep going.
“It was amazing that the pro-choice party didn’t give their voters one when it came to the presidential candidate,” she continued. “Kamala was forced on us so hard you’d think she was patented by Pfizer.”
Cummings did say there were a few things in 2024 that brought people together, joking, “We all agreed we’d rather see J-Lo in a toxic relationship than in concert. We all agreed that the government totally knows what drones are and aren’t telling us. They’re still up, and we have no idea what’s behind them? I mean, they’re still up in the sky, so I guess we can rule out that they were made by Boeing.”
“Are we still rolling? This is wild,” Cummings said as Cohen and Cooper looked on awkwardly from the side. “Boy Scouts of America, they renamed themselves Scouting America. You know who else changed their name? Sean Combs. Just saying… let’s learn something in 2025.”
“I can’t believe you guys are still letting me go. This is amazing. I love CNN. Please stop me, Andy, or I will just keep going,” Cummings ended her roast as Cohen wished her a happy new year.
What did you think of Cummings’ roast? What was your favorite joke? Let us know in the comments section below.
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