On Tuesday’s (January 14) episode of The Late Show, Stephen Colbert looked ahead to Donald Trump‘s inauguration and his incoming administration, including defense secretary nominee Pete Hegseth.
Addressing Trump’s nomination of former Fox News host Hegseth, Colbert told viewers, “You might remember Hegseth from his rather thin dossier of qualifications to run the most powerful military and single largest workforce in the world…”
“There’s his stint as co-host of Fox and Friends Weekends,” he continued. “And the allegations of excessive drinking after work and at work, otherwise known as ‘always.’”
Colbert then touched on Hegseth’s confirmation hearing, which he described as “Hegseth mostly bobbing and weaving to avoid admitting things we already know about him,” such as his belittling statements on female service members and “horrific allegations of sexual assault.”
The late-night host brought up how Hegseth’s own mother wrote a letter criticizing her son. In the letter, she wrote, “I have no respect for a man who belittles, lies, cheats, sleeps around and uses women for his own power and ego. You are that man.”
“That is the most devastating burn,” Colbert responded. “‘Oh, you think you can run the military? That’s not what your mom said last night… Yeah, seriously, she dropped off this letter, it’s pretty upsetting.’”
The comedian also aired a clip of Sen. Markwayne Mullin (R-Okla.) defending Hegseth during the hearing, in which he flubbed a line, saying “give me a joke” instead of “give me a break.”
In response, Colbert had a joke lined up for Mullin, saying, “A drunk, a cheating husband, and an accused sexual predator walk into a bar. And the bartender says, ‘Table for one, Mr. Hegseth?’”
Elsewhere in his monologue, Colbert looked ahead to President-elect Trump’s inauguration on January 20. “It feels like we’re all James Bond strapped to the table, and the laser is slowly inching toward our crotch, and it’s like, ‘enough about your evil plot to conquer Greenland. Just zap America’s junk off already,’” he quipped.
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He also shared the news that the Village People will be performing at the inauguration, noting, “This is a big change of heart for the Village People, given that in 2020 they demanded Trump stop using their music.”
“Evidently, the band is trying to go in a new direction, and that direction is toward money,” Colbert added. “Because a few weeks ago… lead singer Victor Willis posted that he will sue every news organization that falsely refers to YMCA as a gay anthem.”
“This must stop, because it is damaging to the song,” Willis wrote in a recent Facebook post.
Colbert mocked Willis’ statement, jokingly adding, “Yes, for once and for all, ladies and gentlemen, YMCA is not gay. Where did that even come from? It’s off the famously straight, actual Village People album Cruisin’, packed with hetero hits like “Hot Cop,” “My Roommate” and simply, “I’m a Cruiser.”
You can watch Colbert’s full opening monologue in the video above.
The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, Weeknights, 11:35/10:35 c, CBS
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