Stephen Colbert got in the Thanksgiving mood as he thanked “Sweet Turkey Jesus” on Thursday’s (November 21) episode of The Late Show after the news broke that Matt Gaetz had withdrawn as Donald Trump’s nominee for attorney general.
“We have something to be thankful for because this afternoon, Matt Gaetz withdrew as Trump’s nominee for attorney general,” Colbert said in his opening monologue as the studio audience cheered. “Oh, my goodness, isn’t that pleasant? That’s so nice. Thank you, Sweet Turkey Jesus! Gobble bless you.”
Trump announced he would nominate the former U.S. representative for Florida to serve as attorney general on November 13. This led to immediate backlash, including from some Senate Republicans, as Gaetz had previously been accused of child sex trafficking and statutory rape.
“As as you know, Gaetz’s nomination has been opposed by many Republican senators, especially after two women claimed Gaetz paid them for sex,” Colbert explained. “Yesterday at the New York Times, they published a chart of Venmo transactions between Gaetz, his friends and dozens of women to show how payments flowed between them. I think we all know what was flowing between them. But you know, just for schnicks, let’s take a look at the chart.”
The late-night host then shared a screenshot of the chart, which features various lines connecting to many women, plus redacted names.
The Late Show YouTube
“There you go. It’s very simple. This chart connects all the characters in the Matt Gaetz Skinematic universe,” Colbert quipped. “As you can see, Gaetz and his associates sent money to many tiny women in red shirts, as well as several mysterious top hats.”
“The only possible conclusion… Matt Gaetz paid to have sex with the Babadook,” the comedian joked.
The Late Show YouTube
Elsewhere in his monologue, Colbert touched on Trump selling “limited-edition signed MAGA guitars for $10,000 a pop.”
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“That must be so exciting for real guitar fans,” Colbert stated. “Because Donald Trump is one of the world’s most renowned guitar not-players. Now if you purchase one of these guitars, you are divorced. And if you say, ‘Actually, Steve, I’m not divorced,’ well go tell your spouse you just blew 10 grand on a Trump guitar then call me back with your status.”
Also on Thursday’s show, Cobert’s wife, actress and producer Evie McGee Colbert, stopped by to pick out their traditional family Thanksgiving greeting cards.
You can watch Colbert’s full monologue and the segment with Evie in the videos above.
The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, Weeknights, 11:35/10:35 c, CBS
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