Jimmy Kimmel marked Donald Trump’s 78th birthday in fittingly unceremonious fashion, listing his favorite 78 nicknames for the businessman-turned-politician — who’s running for president again while awaiting sentencing after his conviction on 34 felony counts.
“Trump had a low-key birthday celebration — he reportedly spent the night at home, quietly spanking himself with a magazine,” Kimmel said on Jimmy Kimmel Live! on Friday, June 14, riffing on Stormy Daniels’ testimony that she used a magazine to spank Trump.
Then Kimmel got to the nicknames. “You know, I have to admit, Donald Trump has given a lot to our show, and I wanted to do something special for him because I know he watches from time to time,” the late-night comedian said.
“Over the last, seems like, I don’t know, 28 years since he got into politics, we’ve come up with a lot of nicknames for Donald Trump. And so in honor of his birther-day, we combed through the archives to bring you our top 78 Donald Trump nicknames of all-time.”
To the tune of “Hail to the Chief,” Kimmel rattled off the monikers, quoted in full below:
Don WhoreleoneNapoleon Bone-AspurR. SmellyFiberaceCommander-In-ThiefNostra-dumbassEl Pork-ChoppoMAGA TheresaAll Caps-tain KangarooRip One Van WinkleCount FlatulaFounding FarterFarty-FiveTeddy DozeveltGaseous ClayDopey McGropeyLepre-con manAl Ca-pornJulius SqueezerThe Shart of the DealHis FlatulencyMayor McCutTheCheeseGroper ClevelandSleepy Don-zalesNelson TandelaBurger Jean KingDonny NappleseedLiger WoodsUnhappy GilmoreGreedy McGolfyYabba Dabba DoofusHis MAGA-styGenghis DonDonnie D CupsDonye WestDonald Duck the DraftKim Don UnThe Notorious P.I.G.Hair MussoliniCon-Mander-In-ChiefPhony SopranoFattyshackThe Ayatollah ComplainiPresidementiaStable McGeniusThe Tanchurian candidateOrange Baby JesusRefrigerator Perry MasonOff-Whitey BulgerTannibal LecterThe Not-So-Great PumpkinCarrot BottomScammy Davis Jr.Rich Little HandsDonnie CochranThe MAGA-lorianVladimir GlutenHippoPOTUSDarth Tax EvaderOur Fondling FatherMaroon 45The Legend of Bragger VanceMar-a-CloggoThe Tan of La ManchaButch CasseroleTrumpelstiltskinMAGATHA ChristieGrab-Ass GrandpaOrange Julius CaesarHungry Hungry HypocriteDictator TotQuid Pro ComboverThe Lock-Her-Up-ness MonsterGeneral Lie-senhowerAlexander ScamiltonYelvisJabba The Pizza HutPumpkin McPornhumper
“Happy birthday, Mr. Former President! Happy birthday to you!” Kimmel added as he caught his breath and the in-studio audience cheered. “Maybe we do have Trump Derangement Syndrome.”
Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Weeknights, 11:35/10:35c, ABC
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