Jimmy Kimmel used Monday’s (November 4) episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live! to make his “closing argument” ahead of Tuesday’s (November 5) 2024 presidential election.], and he imagined a world without Donald Trump.
“I hope everyone enjoyed their night terrors last night,” Kimmel said at the top of Tuesday’s show. “We set the clocks back yesterday. Just what this election season needed… an extra hour. It feels like the whole country’s waiting to get the results of a biopsy.”
The late-night host told his audience he doesn’t have any inside information on the way the election might be heading. “I don’t know anything; no one does,” he stated. “These polls, they’re mood rings, that’s all they are, they bring you up, they bring you down.”
Kimmel continued focusing on the polls, “There are only two choices. You have a 50 percent chance of being right. It’s not like you picked the Trifecta at the Belmont Stakes. There’s no magic involved. It’s heads or tails. At the end of this, the pollsters who were wrong will quietly disappear. The other ones will be like, ‘I told ya, one percent!’ What did you tell us? You called 800 losers who didn’t have enough sense to not answer an unknown call. That’s all you did.”
The comedian also touched on the “bombshell” audio released by The Daily Beast over the weekend, in which Jeffrey Epstein, speaking with Michael Wolff, revealed Trump was his “closest friend for 10 years.”
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Kimmel couldn’t believe this revelation didn’t make more headlines. “This barely moves the needle,” he said. “Remember Mitt Romney went down because he put a dog carrier on the roof of his car? We just got a hundred hours of Jeffrey Epstein saying he and Trump were BFFs. I didn’t even get an alert about it on my phone. I got no texts on this.”
Making his final plea to voters, Kimmel said it was time to “move on already” from Donald Trump, whom he referred to as a “cancerous polyp” on “our collective national colon.”
“Forget about what side you’re on. I want you to take just take a moment to imagine a world in which you wake up in the morning, you check the news, and no one says the words ‘Donald’ or ‘Trump,’” he added. “Just a bunch of normal, boring stuff. Wouldn’t that be nice? No lawn signs. No red hats. No arguing with your grandfather. You check the sports, Al Roker does the weather, off to work you go.”
Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Weeknights, 11:35pm ET/PT, ABC
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