At any awards show, it’s the opening monologue that sets the tone for the night. For the 2025 Golden Globes, it was actor and comedian Nikki Glaser‘s job to do just that as the host.
Ahead of the show, Glaser told Yahoo Entertainment, “I’m not gonna go so hard that anyone’s gonna be offended. … I’m not Ricky Gervais. This isn’t my last Golden Globes, this is my first one. He really went hard on his last one. He was ready to burn some bridges [because] it didn’t matter anymore. … I really am not out to hurt anyone’s career.” And that’s what she did. Overall, it was a fun monologue.
Glaser started right out by calling the Golden Globes “Ozempic’s biggest night. If you’re watching on CBS, hello. If you’re watching on Paramount+, you have six days left to cancel your free trial.” She then promised not to roast anyone even though that’s what she’s known for. “How could I? You all are so famous, so talented, so powerful. You could really do anything, except tell the country who to vote for, but it’s okay, you’ll get them next time. If there is one. I’m scared. Ariana, hold my finger.” Ariana Grande played it up, with Cynthia Erivo offering her nails. “Tonight, we celebrate the best in film and hold space for television. Wicked, Queer, Nightbitch, these are not just words Ben Affleck yells after he orgasms, these are some of the incredible movies nominated tonight. The Bear, The Penguin, Baby Reindeer, these are not just things found in RFK’s freezer. These are TV shows nominated tonight.”
Glaser then called out some of the people in the crowd — including “huge movie stars” Kate Winslet, Cate Blanchett, and Colin Farrell, and “huge TV stars,” Kate Winslet, Cate Blanchett, and Colin Farrell. She pointed out Oscar winner Eddie Redmayne for his work in Day of the Jackal. “It’s about a top secret elite sniper that no one can find because he’s on Peacock. I think I’ve seen more actual peacocks in my life than shows on Peacock.”
She said Martin Short was there “because we have cameras.” She told Zendaya she “woke up for all of your scenes” in Dune and called The Challengers “more sexually charged than Diddy’s credit card,” adding, “I’m upset, too, the after party’s not going to be as good this year, but we have to move on. The Stanley Tucci freak off just doesn’t have the same ring to it, but no baby oil this year, just lots of olive oil, okay?”
Glaser then turned to Tilda Swinton for being “nominated for her role as Timothée Chalamet. Where is Timothée Chalamet? You were great as Timothée Chalamet this year, too,” she added. “You have the most gorgeous eyelashes on your upper lip. I think this is such a great look … You were so good in A Complete Unknown as Bob Dylan. In fact, I actually read that your singing voice was so accurate that even Bob Dylan himself admitted it was absolutely horrible.” She then called him “so great about playing these beloved eccentrics” that she wondered if he’d play Adam Sandler next. (Sandler then joined in after she remarked Chalamet’s name sounded like something he would say.)
Glaser said she loved Wicked, as did her boyfriend and her boyfriend’s boyfriend. “Some people complained that the movie was ruined by people singing,” she noted, “and then Joker 2, some people complain that the movie was ruined by the images on the screen and the sounds that accompanied them, but I’m sorry, Joker 2, where’s their table? Oh, they’re not here.”
RelatedThe 2025 Golden Globe Awards Winners List (Updating Live)
She then calls out “the legendary Harrison Ford,” joking, “I was actually talking to Harrison backstage, and after he gave me his drink order…” She points out Nicole Kidman’s nomination for Babygirl is her 20th. “Thank you so much for all of your hard work. And thank you to Keith Urban for playing guitar around the house so much that she wants to leave and made 18 movies a year.”
Glaser of course talked to Glen Powell. “What a year you’ve had. Glen, you were in everything. Twisters, Hit Man, my head when I’m having sex with my boyfriend, thank you so much for the assist. I’ll see you tonight.”
To Selena Gomez, she noted her two nominations for Emilia Perez and Only Murders, as well as the fact that her date was her fiancé Benny Blanco, who was “here because of the genie that granted him that wish.” She called the Netflix movie “without a doubt the most audacious, groundbreaking film to ever autoplay after Is It Cake?”
Glaser concluded her monologue with the suggestion that this will be a “very memorable” year because in five years, when people are watching clips, “you’ll see someone in one of the crowd shots and go, oh my God, that was before they caught that guy. Like, we could be making history tonight and like we don’t even know with who. Like, he knows, you know, but or she, it could be a woman, you know, I think 100 percent of the time it’s a man, but it could be a woman. It won’t be, it never is, kind of like best director.”
What did you think of Nikki Glaser’s monologue? Let us know in the poll and comments section below.
(function(d, s, id) { var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src = “https://woobox.com/js/plugins/woo.js”; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); }(document, ‘script’, ‘woobox-sdk’));
More Headlines:
Golden Globes 2025: Nikki Glaser Calls Out Timothée Chalamet, Martin Short & More in Opening Monologue‘Hacks’ Star Poppy Liu Teases Season 4’s Return to VegasLiv Morgan Explains Why WWE Monday Night RAW on Netflix Is So ExcitingIs ‘American Primeval’ Based on a True Story?Golden Globes 2025: The Complete Winners List (Updating Live)
